SlimAnus.com: 1 Year & Running!
8/28/02 |
 For anyone who's been down with this website since day one, you'd realize that today marks day 365 in SlimAnus.com's history. That's right, this website is now 1 fuckin' year old! I'm also proud to say that at this point in time, this website is the strongest and most widely-known it has ever been. What's even better than that, is that it keeps getting bigger & better everyday! Every week, there's more and more hits. And if you think this website is the shit now, then grab onto your balls (or titties), and prepare yourself for the brand new FRESHNESS of the new layout coming to you in this coming month of September! The official date for it to go online remains September 30th... but hey... I might just bring it to you earlier to fuckin' freak all you Femi-Haytaz out! The bottom line is that with the coming of The Wraith, the 1st ICP single, "Crossing Thy Bridge", and this layout soon to drop, these are exciting times for all Juggalos... and all Haytaz. Prepare yourself for flava!
Moving along, in celebration of the 1 year anniversary, I've saved a special gift for all of you Femi-Haytaz! With PHAT props to a Juggalo named Alan, the earliest version of Insane Clown Posse's song "Slim Anus" has now been listed on this website. Simply hit up "ICP's Songs" section, and find the "Juggalo Show Version" of "Slim Anus". This version was recorded in March of 1999, shortly after Feminem dissed ICP in the Free Press newspaper. If you're familiar with the real and finalized version of "Slim Anus", then you'll easily be able to tell that the "Juggalo Show Version" is simply a prototype, but it's still some funny ass shit. The song came from ICP's "The Juggalo Show" CD disc 3A. Check that shit out!
Lastly, I haven't updated anything else yet. I'll probably put up all the updates right at the end of the month, so when the 1st of September hits, all that shit (and hate mail) you've submitted recently will be posted. Also, if you've written me an email, but no submission attached, I just haven't read your mail yet, so just keep cool and wait. Undesirably, I'm somewhat of a popular person now, so simply wait your turn for the *honor* of my reply... ha ha ha. Yeah, my ass. Shit, I'll just get back to you when I do, ya know? In the meantime, enjoy the "new" ICP song, slap some random Femi-Fan with a 9-Iron, and encourage BrandiBarbieGirl to show me her tits. MCL,
DJ Jake |
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Femi-Haytaz
8/23/02 |
Whuddup my fellow Femi-Haytaz? Once again, new shit has been posted. First I just wanted to define a new word for you people. "Femi-Haytaz" is now the official term for anyone who hates Eminem & is a fan of this website. So if you hate that fake ass bitch Eminem, and you like this website, or have submissions posted on it, you are officially a Femi-Hayta. One step up from that, and you're part of The Army of DEATH, but details on what the hell I'm talking about will not be revealed until the new design for this website goes online at the end of September. I'm telling you, the new shit is fresh. What you see today is ugly as Feminem's used dildos.
Moving on... There's plenty of new "Pictures" to check out, and also new "Comments", one new "Song Lyric", and 3 new "Hate Mails". Once again, one of the new hate mails is from our favorite superficial bitch, Brandi. Enjoy checking those out. Also, some news for all the Femi-Fans that send me hate mail... If you're going to send me hate mail, keep it short. If I see a long ass email, I'm not going to take the time to read it. With long-ass hate mails, I just take the email address, put it on the "Shit List" and delete the message. Simple as that. Your time is wasted. I had to do that to a few hate mails recently, so if you want to hate on me, keep it short. |
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Fresh Freshness
8/19/02 |
 New shit is posted. There's a good amount of new shit to check out, so stick around if you just got here. First of all, "Pictures" has been updated with quite a few new pictures. These pictures include some awesome ones produced by "The Humon". Check them out, they're in Gallery 2. I also wanted to casually mention... for those of you who email me questions, be sure to explore this website before asking anything. Sometimes your answer is waiting for you in the "FAQs" section, and quite often, one of the most overlooked sections of this website, the "Old News". There's all kinds of shit talked about in the archives of postings on this site. If all else fails, then email me. With the new design coming soon, there will be a much bigger FAQ section. Which reminds me... For those of you who have asked, I will not check out your website and tell you what I think about it, or help you with it. I have my own website to operate. I also won't sign your guestbook either, that's like sending me an email with your real-mail address and asking to send you an autograph (yes, this has happened before). Autographs are only signed in person. I enjoy checking out fellow Juggalo/Juggalette websites, but don't ask me to help you with it, and don't ask for my opinion on anything. I'm already busy.
Moving on, or moving back to what I was talking about in the first place... new shit has also been posted in the "Hate Mail" section, including Part 4 in the BrandiBarbieGirl series. I really hope she sends me pictures of her tits... ha ha. But check those out, cuz you'll get a kick out of them as always. "Song Lyrics" was also updated with a few new postings. Concerning the submission of song lyrics... keep in mind I don't post lyrics that haven't been proof-read. Proof-read your shit before sending it to me, or I won't post it. I'll send it back to you and say, "fix it". And don't just send it back to me with like 1 line corrected. In that case, eat a dick, and I'll just trash your shit and you'll never see it on this website. I'm serious.
There's also a slug of "Comments" added in the "Other Disses" section, including an excellently thought out one by Yucca Killer. When you're done with that, head over to the "Shit List" and abuse the new email addresses recently added to the list. If that gets boring, then head on over to "Other Songs" where you'll find Necro's "I'm Sick Of You" Eminem diss listed at the bottom of the page. As far as I remember, that just about covers everything that was added. Also, I replied to all emails that I felt needed a reply. If you haven't heard from me, or don't see your submitted shit posted on this website today (reload pages to make sure), then I have no intent to post it. Enjoy the new shit. MCL,
DJ Jake |
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Good Things To Come
8/17/02 |
Nothing new has been posted since the 13th, but there's been plenty of submissions. Since I obviously have a life outside this website (unlike Femi-Fans who constantly send "Hate Mail"), I simply haven't had time to update. But it's the weekend now! Time to have some fun & also update this bitch! So if you've sent something to me recently, expect a reply today... or tomorrow... or whenever I feel like answering it... ha ha. Of course, new shit'll be posted today too at some point. I also wanted to casually mention, for many of you who have asked, no, I do not give out my AIM screen-name or any Instant Messaging screen-name for that matter. Number 2, I'm never on that shit anymore anyway, so it would be pointless to look for me. And I can't make exceptions for anyone either, so don't ask. Just send me an email. Also, as one last piece of news, other than Slim Shitty taking Slim Shits because of his Slim Anus that's been fucked by Slim Penises, the new look for this website is making substantial progress. However, I still don't expect it will be done 'till September 30th. But compared to this current version, the new shit will fuckin' kick your dick off!
DJ Jake |
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You'll Like This Shit Too
8/13/02 |
Whuddup all? Well, unlike a normal update, there's no new pictures to look at! Who would've thought? Well, there's plenty to make up for that shit. Like once again, new "Hate Mail". Actually, there's only 2 since the last posting, but one of my replies is like a fuckin' book-long, but if you're in the mood to be entertained, then check it out. Otherwise, there's some new "Comments" posted as usual, and also some new "Song Lyrics" to check out. There's also a new song in the "Amateur Songs" section, but in addition to that, I got so fuckin' tired of waiting for The Joker's Card website to come back online that I just put the Mp3s of their songs on this website for download. When their website finally comes back online, I'll just link to their Mp3s, but it's just been so fuckin' long since their shit was up, I'm like fuck it, I'll host it myself... for now anyway. So if you ever wanted to hear that shit, then head over to the "Other Songs" section and hit up the "Amateur" list. And if you want the lyrics to those songs, head back over to "Song Lyrics". Fuckin' complex web of posted shit. Also, here's some awesome news for anyone who abuses the email addresses provided in the "Shit List" or "Hate Mail" sections... 9, yes, NINE more email addresses have been destroyed, including 5 that were in the "Hate Mail" section, which includes that Sublimity bitch. All of your support of spamming their address has forced them to trash their account! Thank you for your support. That's it for today BEEICH! MCL,
DJ Jake |
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Everyone's Favorite: NEW HATE MAIL!
8/10/02 |
Yes! It is true! 7 new hate mails have been listed in the "Hate Mail" section! This includes a 4-part emailing by a certain Femi-Fan that thought she was "smart". Read those, and fuckin' laugh your ass off at what they say, it's great! If you feel like it, fuck with their email addresses, I don't give a fuck. Do whatever makes you happy. As for other postings, I'm all caught up. I'll tell ya when more interesting shit is posted. MCL,
DJ Jake |
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Newly Posted Submissions
8/8/02 |
Whuddup all you Eminem haters? Another slug of shit was posted today. First off I'll tell you that the song downloads that were recently offline are back up again. There were a few hours when slimanus.com was offline back on the 4th/5th, and that affected the availability of the Mp3s... but it's all fixed now. Don't ask why the site disappeared for those few hours... the Earth must've just passed through a giant Bermuda Triangle or some shit. Remember? All those Femi-Fans were off grabbing each other's asses? They were like, "Oh, it's so much better than titties!" Yeah, that's right, all you Eminem fans are a bunch of homos! So anyway, the songs in the "Other Songs" section are back online. Also, a new song has been listed in the "Professional" section, and it's by "Ken Kaniff". Another song has also been posted in the "Amateur" section by Psychopathic Soldiahz. Other than songs, there's new "Pictures", and also some more "Comments" found in the "Other Disses" section. I haven't posted any of the Hate Mailer's shit yet, I always post & respond to my fans first cuz you're all the shit! I'll post the Hater's shit soon. MCL,
DJ Jake |
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Lotsa Mutha Fakos
8/4/02 |
If you've been coming back to this website everyday, then you probably already know what's been posted in the last few days, but for those of you who don't, I'll tell ya. There's plenty more "Song Lyrics" added to that section, also some new "Pictures". As usual, the "Shit List" continues to grow... DAMN that's a lot of shit listed in that section! Fuck them haytaz! Also, some more "Comments" where added, and by the way, the "Comments" section will be listed as IT'S OWN category in the newer upcoming version of this website, instead of being found in the "Other Disses" section. It just grows too much to have it plainly described as "Other". There's also a new song in the "Amateur Songs" section (in the "Other Songs" section). So check out all that shit when you get the chance.
One last thing... I just wanted to say this to everybody, especially the HATERS. The haters seem to think that just a handful of people view this website everyday. Those of you who've been long-time fans of this website realize that WAY back in October of 2001, this website was 40 days old, and had 3,000 hits. I look back at that and laugh. I make another 3,000 every 4 fuckin' days! That means that roughly 700 people are viewing this website DAILY, and for approximately half of those viewers, it's their first time. That's right all you bitches in the "Hate Mail" section, 700 people a DAY have the opportunity to abuse your legally-submitted information. BOOM BITCH! I win & you'z a BEEEEICH! Ain't nobody fuckin' with this site! Anyway, I gotta thank all you Eminem-Haters for your continued support, you all da SHIT! MCL,
DJ Jake |
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Another Month, Another Faggot
8/1/02 |
It's a new month starting today, and you know what that means? That means there's a brand new "Faggot of the Month"! I encourage everybody to take the provided emails in that section and sign them up for random SPAM newsletters and whatever other shit you find throughout the web, and if you think it's illegal to do that shit, read my disclaimer in the "Contacts" section, because the Hater agreed to those terms by submitting Hate Mail to this website. So go ahead and fill up his inbox (no, not his butthole, I know you Feminem-Fans were thinking that).
There are also some new "Pictures" and "Comments", and a few other random things added to this website. So do your typical browsing & all that shit... if you get bored, just go to the "Shit List" and send some Haters some random shit, or if that doesn't do it for ya, go out looking for cars with Eminem vinyl stickers on them & write a big "F" in front of "Eminem", then take a picture of it so I can post it on this website. Oh shit, I'm not supposed to suggest any illegal shit, I forgot. Well then in that case, it was just a casual thought of inspiration for all of you Eminem-Haters & I take no responsibility for your actions. Yeah, that works. |
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